The Desire to be Perfect
A young boy travelled across Japan to the school of a famous martial artist. When he arrived at the dojo he was given an audience by the sensei.
“What do you wish from me?” the Master asked.
“I wish to be your student and become the finest Karateka in the land,” the boy replied.
“How long must I study?”
“Ten Years at least,” the master answered.
“Ten years is a long time”, said the boy. “What if I studied twice as hard as your other students?”
“20years” replied the master.
“20years! What if I practice day and night with all my effort?”
“30 years”, was the master’s reply.
“How is it that each time I say I will work harder you tell me it will take longer?” the boy asked.
“The answer is clear. When one eye is fixed upon your destination, there is only one eye left with which to find the way”
I’ve been reflecting on perfectionism recently.
How ironic that often the drive to be the best can sometimes cause that thing which is sought, relaxation and satisfaction, to be replaced with anxiety and restlessness. That often in the process of trying to achieve flawlessness we actually destroy the thing which we are trying to improve.
I don’t want to imply that we should not improve or hope to achieve our potential. But perhaps viewing perfection as wholeness rather than flawlessness is more useful: one makes us tight whilst the other has a much different and more positive effect on how we feel about ourselves.
What have been your experiences?
“What do you wish from me?” the Master asked.
“I wish to be your student and become the finest Karateka in the land,” the boy replied.
“How long must I study?”
“Ten Years at least,” the master answered.
“Ten years is a long time”, said the boy. “What if I studied twice as hard as your other students?”
“20years” replied the master.
“20years! What if I practice day and night with all my effort?”
“30 years”, was the master’s reply.
“How is it that each time I say I will work harder you tell me it will take longer?” the boy asked.
“The answer is clear. When one eye is fixed upon your destination, there is only one eye left with which to find the way”
I’ve been reflecting on perfectionism recently.
How ironic that often the drive to be the best can sometimes cause that thing which is sought, relaxation and satisfaction, to be replaced with anxiety and restlessness. That often in the process of trying to achieve flawlessness we actually destroy the thing which we are trying to improve.
I don’t want to imply that we should not improve or hope to achieve our potential. But perhaps viewing perfection as wholeness rather than flawlessness is more useful: one makes us tight whilst the other has a much different and more positive effect on how we feel about ourselves.
What have been your experiences?
posted by Tammy Parlour at 1:40 AM
2 Comments:
Hi Tammy
Just wanted to say thanks for another great Ki seminar. Its always fantastic and would love to be able to study under someone like Master Chang. I Plan to when there is less focus on the Olympics.
Also, I think you have a great blog and although don't check in regularly, think your insight and understanding of a martial artists mindset ring very true. I loved the story of the Japanese boy.
Don
I haven't really experienced any anxiety regarding Hapkido performance, but I know from other areas of my life that sometimes focusing on things to be 'just right' makes them absolutely anything BUT!
Sometimes a certain amount of determined focus takes you a long way, but as I tell my piano students, keep the sessions brief and frequent, and you will make much more progress than trying to cram 80 minutes of practice in the day before your lesson.
This is a fantastic blog, btw. My schedule became incompatible with Hapkido about 5 months ago and I'm hoping I'll be able to attend again, but I have to see which job offer I'm going to accept first. (US)
I hope you find the balance you are searching for in your own studies.
~Kimberly
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